DON'T FREEZE OUR PAY - It ain't much but its all we have!

Instead of joining the military, I married into it.  It has become my family.  I forged a second chance and was set to enlist in 2008 but became pregnant in 2007, guess God had other plans for me.  So, I have since become active in military affiliated groups in my community like the Military Ministry at Restoration Church (Colorado Springs) and WOW (Wives of Warriors).

I am so thankful for our voluntary military.  Our service members deserve so much more than what they get.  They are often treated without the dignity and respect they so greatly deserve.  They perform a job that most people cannot fathom, taken from their families for months on end, placed in harms way of people who want to kill them for no real reason other than they are American, all the while worrying about how their families are getting on in their absence.

Things could be different.  In Italy, military service is obligatory.  According to their Constitution, it is the duty of every Italian citizen to serve their country.  We don't really feel that way but what if we did?  Would our patriotism and support of country be increased because all people would then have a better understanding of what military life is really like?  From what I have experienced, civilians mostly, have a preconceived and underestimated notion of what military life is like. 

I heard that our government, in its 'infinite wisdom' (SARCASM), is considering passing a bill that would freeze military pay for the next 2 years.  I think that is crap.  I think our government should pull its head out of its rear and realize that without our soldiers, our country would be an even bigger target for extremist domination than it already is.  We need our soldiers. My guess is that the size of our military will be shrinking if this bill passes because those who are nearing the end of their contracts will opt for contracting jobs with the military where their pay will be substantially more, than to re-enlist for the same rate of pay they are ending their service with.  Some will stay because they love what they do or they have an inflated sense of patriotism. 

Military life has taught me to be frugal.  Most of us are in debt up to our eyes because the military paycheck just doesn't stretch that far.  In  areas where the cost of living is so high, the paycheck is gone before we even get it.  We don't live 'high on the hog'.  Most of us live paycheck to paycheck, utilizing local food pantries and thrift stores as a means of providing for our families.  Whats really pathetic is that most military families can qualify for assistance programs like WIC and Food Stamps (present company included), which the military privately frowns upon because it makes their tight-fistedness when it comes to paying their soldiers, look bad.

Our pay is barely enough to survive.  I am constantly 'robbing Peter to pay Paul' and doing without what I need so my children can have a new pair of shoes or dinner at McDonald's once a month.  My husband works a second job after he leaves the post and we are still struggling.  I am babysitting for a living because work just isn't available.  This economy is hurting everyone.  The only place I can see where making pay cuts or freezes would be beneficial, is in our own government.  Spending is our of control, we have too many politicians trying to make decisions for the people they are completely out of touch with and our defenders don't deserve to be disrespected in this way.  Honestly, if this bill passes and the extremists wait it out, our defenses will be spread so thin, taking over America and destroying it won't be that difficult.  In that case, I am moving back to Italy!

A New Me, So To Speak...

I am officially changing my pen name to Aleen Penny, in honor of my grandmother.  Look for my published works now under this name.  There are just too many Bobbi J, Bobbi Jo and B.J.'s out there in the literary world!

There, now that there should be no more confusion, I can continue to write and hopefully not be mistaken for anyone else, especially since I am happy just to be me.

Be Engaged!

Are you here?  I mean really here.  I woke up this morning at 2:30, perplexed by the question of what it means to be engaged.  Not engaged in the sense of getting married and all that temporary bliss that over takes a new bride-to-be, but engaged in the sense of really being present in life

I have been blessed to be able to be a stay-at-home mom for the past 12 years.  Although at times I wish I had a job outside the home and although my kids make me crazy most of the time, I am glad that I have been able to be here for them.  I try my best to balance all 3 of their schedules: My 2-year old attends preschool 2 days a week, my 6 year-old is in the first grade and plays sports and my 10-year old takes ballet lessons.  In between shuffling them around to their activities, I am involved in a few different church groups and I am in a self-paced home study program for paralegal studies.  Not to mention the numerous hats I wear at home (wife, accountant, chef, personal shopper, chauffeur, housekeeper, handyman, personal assistant, tutor, laundress, personal organizer and the list goes on).  Do I, at times, feel overextended and overwhelmed?  Heck yes!

I attend all those things because it’s important to my kids that I attend.  It is important to me, as their mom, to attend all the functions if I am able to, and be there to support them.  I grew up with an emotionally disconnected family.  Don’t get me wrong, we loved each other but when it came to emotional support and being engaged in each others lives, that just didn’t happen.  Here is an example…

I danced in high school.  Basically 40 performances per year, times 2.  That’s a lot of dancing.  My mom attended the Friday night football games (we always did the half-time show) because that was the only night she didn’t work.  My dad (who passed away in June of 2009) attended 1 basketball half-time performance. My sister played volleyball (or was it soccer?) in high school and I never attended a game.  I have since written a book, published in 2009 (Sin Nature Lost, available at Barnes&Noble.com).  My mom and my sisters are all avid readers.  They haven’t bothered to read it and if they have, they haven’t said anything about it.  Oh well.

I don’t want my childrens memories of me to be like those I have of my family.  I want to be really engaged in the lives of my children, my friends and my family.  I try and at times, I meet with some resistance.  I believe there is a difference between being engaged and being overbearing and I hope I am not gravitating toward the overbearing side.  I want the people in my life to know that I was there for them.  So I will attend as many school functions and extra-curricular activities as I can.  I will bake the cookies and cupcakes for the class parties, I will drive to every practice and rehearsal, attend every game and performance.  I will be proud of the kids I have raised and the adults they will become.  I want their memories of me to include, “My mom was there for me”.

So here is my challenge: Be involved.  Be engaged.  Be present.  Don’t just be.  In the end, all we leave behind are memories.  Let’s make them amazing!